I’m Going To Europe For 12 Months? See Ya

So either a bunch of girls on Facebook are going to Europe for 1-30 months, or you’re an idiot for believing that. No idea what the status updates are for. Remember the whole purse ordeal. Where girls were writing shit like “I like it on my bed.” or “I like it in the front seat of my car.” And all men were just really confused whether to be horny or not. Well that was to raise awareness for titty cancer and titty cancer month was in October so I have no idea what this is for. I remember because everybody in the NFL was sporting those pink ribbons on their jerseys. Feel free to explain to us.

January – Mexico
February – London
March – Miami
April – Dominican Republic
May – France
June – St. Petersburg
July – Austria
August – Germany
September – New York
October – Amsterdam
November – Las Vegas
December – Columbia
The number of months you go for is the number of your birthday. So I’m August 21st so I’m going to Germany for 21 months.

Update: It’s meant to be for breast cancer month, but I guess your lady friends are 2 months late. Some people are going to start feeling stupid and erasing their statuses in 5…4…3…


South Central has a farm?

The Scoop
Here is what comes to mind when I think of South Central. Guns, rap, and death. Like if this was a Family Feud question, farms would most fucking definitely not be on the list. Steve Harvey would give you that face if you answered with farm. You know what face I’m talking about.

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Perhaps The Only 3 NBA Players That Want The Lockout Back

There’s always 2 sides to every trade. The Clippers became Lob City, aka House of Highlights part 2, and the Hornets… How bad are the Hornets going to be for the next 5 years or so? They’re going to be my “I feel sorry for you and I want to play on a level playing field so I’ll pick NOLA and you pick the Lakers” in 2k12 team. How very fitting that Farouq Aminu is going to be wearing the number 3 around now. Big shoes to fill my Nigerian friend.

PS. If anybody knows what happened to Chris Kaman’s eye, please update. I’m so very curious.

End of My Season

For those of you who know what this means, it came down to Tolbert. Fatass no talent Mike Tolbert. So much regret, but I think I started the right people. Didn’t think Eli would choke against the Redskins, Legarrette Blount would be so useless against the Cowboys or that Wes Welker would trip at the 2 yard line, which would’ve gave me 6 extra points. Bad way to end my season. Continue reading

Previous Post (Gifts for Men)

Gifts for Men shoulda came with NSFW attached. I DO NOT apologize for my error. It is my job and the purpose of this blog to not care or have any type of consideration for your feelings. If your boss saw you looking at the boobies from my post maybe you shoulda been workin or at least been more fuckin aware of your surroundings. I AM HIGH AT WORK AND YOUR NOT…. FAGGET! =)

Fuck This 12 Year Old Kid

Huffington Post– Thomas Suarez has two published apps, a startup company and a compelling TED talk under his belt — all at the tender age of 12. In a compelling October 22 talk at a TED conference in Manhattan Beach, the Los Angeles student held forth on topics like tech integration in education, app access for all children, and how teachers could best use the classroom’s greatest resource — the students themselves. The video of Suarez’s speech was uploaded last week and already has over 400,000 views. The tween, who’s fluent in programming languages like Python, C and Java, also discussed how difficult it was for kids his age to look for guidance if they wanted to get creative with software development. “For soccer, you could go to a soccer team. For violin, you could get lessons for a violin,” he explained. “But what if you want to make an app?” That’s why Suarez created an app club for students at his school. It’s a place for him to share his experience creating apps and putting them on the app store (he had to ask his parents to pay the $99 fee to register with the Apple App Store). But the club is also a resource for teachers, he revealed, and any other educator at his school who wants to experiment with tech education in the classroom. The New York Times cited Suarez’s TED talk as a reason for parents to rethink their hard and fast stance on “screen time” limitations, asking “Isn’t three or four hours a week spent on using an app to create a stop motion movie a much different prospect than two hours of decorating a virtual room?” Suarez’s first published app, called “Earth Fortune,” is a fortune teller that colors the earth different colors according to its prediction. His second, called “Bustin Jieber,” is a whac-a-mole game app that replaces the mole with a photo of Justin Bieber’s head. Right now, in addition to completing the sixth grade, Suarez is working on launching CarrotCorp, his first company. While the company and site are still developing, CarrotCorp’s homepage pays homage to Suarez’s inspiration: the late Steve Jobs.

Let me tell you what I think of this Suarez kid. I think somebody needs to tell me where the fuck to find him. We here at loudmouse, have no fucking idea what we’re doing. I don’t even know how to change the font when I write shit or how to not have humongous spacebar gaps everywhere. This shit is discouraging. You’re telling me there is a kid out there 11 years younger than me, teaching adults how to teach their own children using ipads, while I’m over here googling what a TED talk is? If you ever see this kid, tell him there are 4 funny ass idiots who want his help. We’ll pay you in gum.

How Cool Are You If You Represent Your Frat Like a Gang?

What a boss. This is exactly why black people join black frats. The crips and bloods refuse to jump you in? Fine, fuck it I’ll just go to college and join Omega Psi Phi. No other way he was going to throw in the “100 years on the mother fucking set.” Quite honestly I’m a little bit jealous. Ever since Stomp the Yard came out, I’ve just going to frat parties and throwing up the Theta Nu Theta snake like I was a part of it. Glad I never ran into a Mason though cause I’d get fucked up. Now can you buy that?