Standing Ovation. Ice Crew. Los Angeles Kings’ Cheerleaders.

So I guess in hockey they’re called ice girls, not cheerleaders. Almost nobody knows this about me, but I used to play hockey. Kindergarten to 5th grade. I know that doesn’t even count but I was a fucking baller in hockey. Was playing in 8 and under at 6. 10 and under at age 7. It’s a lot more of an accomplishment than it sounds. Probably the only kid in Culver City Sharks history to ever do that. Scored a hat trick in Las Vegas at age 9. I was Jeremy Lin-ing the circuits in elementary school. Anyways, if I knew my future held standing ovations like fucking Gabby here. I probably would’ve honed in my skills. Might’ve been an LA King. March through December after the jump. Actually I don’t even know what month is what. Arsee could be August for all I know.

PS. If you give me like 20 bucks, I’ll print em out on glossy paper and make you a bootleg calendar. For real.

PPS. Can you guys help us come up with a better way to refer to hot chicks than standing ovation. I didn’t even know what it meant til this weekend. Apparently its called standing ovation cause your dick is standing cause the girl is that hot. How stupid is that?

Power Plays. (In hockey Power Play is when you fuck somebody up and they put you in a timeout box. The Bash Bros were always in there in Mighty Ducks)

PPPS. I know there’s only 10 girls but I spent like fucking 15 minutes looking for 11 and 12. They don’t exist. Maybe I’ll go out and scan the calendar for you fuckers.


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