Shank Your iPhone in Times of Distress

This is the bloody jackpot.
The once in a life-time creation that you stumble upon.
This is the Nissan Scratch Shield.

Are you the type of boyfriend that throws his phone on the wall when arguing with your girlfriend?
Are you the type of clutz that likes to put your bare phone into your bag of keys and make up?
Placed your phone on your lap while driving, and having it fly out when exiting the car?
If you answered yes to all three, then you’re a fuckin idiot.

That’s why Nissan created this case. Just for idiots like you.
Of course I don’t need it because I’m a genius who possess no flaws, but since I blow Mother Theresa out the water in generosity I feel compelled to share.

“Nissan has unveiled the Nissan Scratch Shield iPhone case, which is a plastic shell coated with flexible polyrotaxane, a type of paint used on Nissan cars. According to Discovery News, this “highly elastic resin” boasts a “chemical structure capable of mending itself by changing back to its original form and filling in gaps from scratches.” This mending process can take as little as an hour for shallow scratches, while deeper cuts may take a week to fill in. ” – Huffington Post

Next time your mom hangs up on you, grind your phone on the cement ground.
Next time your girlfriend whines about not getting that new designer bag, throw the phone at her face.
Then paint some of that mending Nissan technology on her, and hope that the original form comes back before the cops arrive.

P.S. – Oh you little ungrateful cunt buckets don’t believe me?


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